Prompt: Parts of My Life I wish I could outsource.
At first I didn’t think there was anything I’d like to outsource. Then I guess I woke up.
- I love making greeting cards with scrapbooking supplies. I have LOTS of supplies. And I don’t know where most of my supplies are so they’re hard to find when I want to use them. I am outsourcing the organization all my card making supplies to the Fairy Godmother Association. And please assign a little troll/elf/brownie to clean up after each of my creative sessions.
- In all honesty, the litter pans aren’t all that bad and usually take only 5 minutes a day. But I seem to have this aversion to taking care of it once a day. I’ll look at them and the thought will pass through my mind (at the speed of light) and I’ll promptly not do anything about it. That I’ll outsource to the House Elf clans. I promise I’ll give the House elf a shirt to wear. Maybe he’ll stick around if I do that.
- I save recipes that I’d like to try. I want another House Elf to go through my recipes and choose two to try each week and to put them on our menu and grocery list. Then when it’s time for me to cook, I want the brownie to get the supplies and recipe out and have them out for me to use. At least we’d have more variety in our meals and might try some new things (last new thing to try was spaghetti squash – and we actually like it to use in place of spaghetti.) I’ll provide reading glasses and an apron to wear.
- Since I’ve been actively following FlyLady, I do usually get the dishes processed after dinner every night. But it took a while. Now I don’t like to see dishes in the sink waiting to be washed. Maybe the House Elf for # 3 will be willing to do double duty. If so, I’ll add socks.
- I need another House Elf to follow us (Me and DH) around the house, especially after we bring something into the house be it things we just bought or the mail or newspapers, to pick up after us. And to sweep at least once a week to get rid of the dust-kittens (my cats and one of our dogs (the other is a poodle) shed and after a week the shed hair turns into dust-kittens.) Probably ought to mop at least once a week and vacuum the few (40 year old) carpets, too. What’s the going item of clothing for this? Shoes? Done!
- And finally, the most annoying thing in our lives are the telemarketers, whether they’re promoting a free cruise (which isn’t free,) trying to buy our timeshares, begging for charitable donations, or, worst of all, campaigning for political candidates. We have an answering machine and we screen our calls through it. If we don’t recognize the phone number or name of the business calling, we let the answering machine take it. Most won’t leave a message. But the political campaigners usually do and they go on for five minutes or more. I’d like a Troll (possibly an ogre) in this case, to dive through the phone lines and throttle the person on the other side. If it’s only a computer then I’d like them to send an EM pulse into their computer so it won’t work at all. What kind of payment do Trolls and Ogres get? Send me an estimate.
All kidding aside, I know that some, probably most, of the people who work for the telemarketing companies can’t get jobs elsewhere and they have to have some kind of income. But they are coming into my house uninvited and I tend to be rude to them (what would you do if some bum just walked into your house and begged for money?)
As for the political campaigners, I’m warning you right now, if you call my house and try to solicit my vote or convince me to vote for your party , you are doing only one thing – YOU (yes YOU, not your candidate, not your party) are turning me AGAINST whatever you’re for. I am intelligent enough to make that decision for myself without you invading my house through my phone. [And don’t come to my door, either.]